


John...

by cookingkungfumaster



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: M/M, TW: Self Harm, TW: Suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-13
Updated: 2014-01-13
Packaged: 2018-01-08 13:27:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1133185
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cookingkungfumaster/pseuds/cookingkungfumaster
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sherlock realizes what John felt when he died.</p>
            </blockquote>





	John...

All John felt was a sudden white hot pain and then nothing…everything went black. Sherlock came around the corner into the darkened ally to see John splayed out on the ground.   
“Oh get up John!” Sherlock yelled. John didn’t move. Sherlock took a few steps forward, his steps echoed all the way down. “John! Come on.” Still no movement from John. As Sherlock came upon John’s lifeless looking form and stopped suddenly. John was face down, a pool of blood around his head. Sherlock pressed his fingers to John’s neck, his skin cold and clammy. Sherlock pulled his hand back, jumping back almost violently as a wave of emotions flooded through him. His chest was tight, he couldn’t breathe, all he could see was John’s body…John’s body…John’s dead body…John’s dead body…Sherlock’s back hit the opposite wall and he slid down until he was sitting, knees against his chest. He still couldn’t catch a breath as the tears began to fall. It began to rain, but Sherlock couldn’t care. Was this what John had gone through when he saw him “die.” Sherlock thought he was going to die…  
“I’m sorry John…I’m so sorry…please stop being dead…” He repeated over and over, his voice barely above a whisper, going into a catatonic state. The first thing John felt was that his muscles were stiff. The next thing he felt was the rain, followed by a throbbing head ache. He slowly tried to sit up, his vision blurry but clearing.  
“I’m sorry John…I’m so sorry…please stop being dead.” He heard a voice say. He looked over and saw Sherlock sitting there, rocking back and forth in a catatonic state.  
“Sher…” John started, his words slurring. What the hell happened? John tried to think of what was going on before…he couldn’t remember. John put his hand to his forehead and realized it had been cut, he must have fallen and knocked his head. As his sense came back to him he slowly made his way over to Sherlock, placing a hand on his head.  
“Sherlock?” John asked. Sherlock’s head bolted up, eyes wide and glassy. John was down on the ground again, only this time with a hand there to catch his fall. Sherlock’s lips pressed against his, his long fingers in his hair. Sherlock slowly pulled away and looked down on him.  
“I’m so sorry John…for everything…”  
“What? Why?” John asked, Sherlock still on top of him.  
“I thought you were...” Sherlock began, letting the end of the sentence tumble off as he began to shiver. John nodded.  
“Let’s go home…” He said. Sherlock nodded and slowly got up, helping John up.  
Later that evening  
Sherlock and John sat together in the tub, Sherlock’s back to John’s front, their fingers intertwined. They had been silent since they got a cab, neither knowing what to say or how to begin.  
“I haven’t felt like that in a very long time…” Sherlock stated, breaking the silence.  
“Hmm…” John vocalized.  
“It was at university…I had…grown close to someone…” Sherlock continued, looking at John’s left hand. “We had had our ups and downs…emotionally…and I thought we had made it past a down…” John pressed a kiss to Sherlock’s head. Sherlock took a big deep breath. “Then one day I walked in and they were dead…”  
“God…” John said softly.  
“They had taken their own life…the note said they couldn’t see any more happy days…”  
“Sher…” John whispered, wrapping his arms around him. They sat there in silence.  
“I love you John.” Sherlock said.  
“I love you too Sherlock.” John replied. Sherlock stood up and grabbed a towel, wrapping it around his waist.  
“Wait here…” Sherlock said. John nodded and looked at him quizzically as he walked out. He heard some rummaging and then Sherlock was back.  
“That was quick…” John said as Sherlock climbed back in. Sherlock took John’s left hand and placed it over his own heart as he slipped something on his finger. John kissed Sherlock’s neck softly.  
“Yes.” He said against Sherlock’s skin. “Oh god yes.”  
Sherlock pulled away and turned around in the bath so they were facing each other. This time it was John who initiated the kissing. As John slowly pulled away he smiled and pulled the bath drain before climbing out. Sherlock followed behind him into their bedroom.  
“Lay on the bed, face up.” John stated. Sherlock nodded and did as he asked. John walked over to the bed and climbed on top of him. John began to look him over, seeing the track mark scars, self-inflicted scars…Sherlock met his eyes and John saw the final mask break, after so many years together, he finally saw Sherlock laid bare before him.  
“John…” Sherlock moaned, as he felt John’s fingers run over him. John smiled hearing Sherlock say his name like that. John lined their hips together and pressed his hardening cock against him. They both let out a low moan. Sherlock reached over and grabbed the lube bottle off the nightstand, squeezing some into John’s hand. They rolled over to their sides, legs intertwined as John began to stroke both of them. He started off slow, watching and feeling the pressure build in both of them. Sherlock moaned wanting John to go faster, pressing his face against John’s neck.  
“More…please John…more…”Sherlock moaned, voice vibrating against John’s skin. John smiled and pressed his lips against Sherlock’s temple as he moved his hand faster. John knew that they were both close.  
“Look at me Sher, I want to see you when you cum…” John said. Sherlock looked at him and John thought he was going to cum right then.  
“John!” Sherlock cried out, his eyes going silver as he came.  
“Sherlock!” John cried out. Both men laid their breathless. John grabbed a discarded towel and wiped his hand off, finally looking at the ring Sherlock had given him. It was a simple silver looking band.  
“Look at the inside.” Sherlock said. John slipped the ring off and looked at the inside. “I believe in John Watson-SH” was neatly engraved there. John slipped the ring back on and wrapped his arms around Sherlock, pulling him close. Sherlock pulled a blanket over them and they fell asleep.


End file.
